Tuesday, October 21, 2003

The checklist in my nice "To Pastures New: Moving without the Hassle" booklet says I should be getting the following tasks done this week:-

Wait for your buyer's surveyor to find 20 expensive reasons why he should drop out

Wait for your own surveyor to find 20 expensive reasons why you should drop out

Carefully investigate the mortgage market until you get so confused that you give up and settle for a mortgage that is: too expensive/ties you in with massive penalty clauses/won't be paid off until your 90th birthday

Take a long break from cleaning the house to make up for all the cleaning you did while selling it

Show around the man from the removals company who almost manages to conceal his disgust at the amount of dust in your house

Get sacked from your job because you are lying awake every night visualizing the horror the day after you move into your new home and discover: the neighbour's drumkit/ the adjacent nuclear waste facility/ you got your sums wrong and you can't afford to eat

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